Module five… “Journey Through the Chakras”… hmmm…I have waited to sit down and give attention to this writing until several weeks after our meeting have passed. I was hoping that I could apply words to the percolating energies that were created that weekend. Too bad there isn’t an “energy/unseen to descriptive words” dictionary…. of course, it isn’t exactly like going from Spanish to English for example. I can say that, once again, I am faced with the realization that, despite my initial expectation, the life enrichment portion of this course is what I really needed.
In brief conversations with my classmates, I have come to see that a good portion of us have struggled (in different ways) since our last meeting. Many universal factors could be at work here… winter in Montana, lack of sun, financial strain post holiday season, and the swirling vibrations/predictions of 2012. All of these topics deserve a blog or two of their own, but that is not what I am here for. Our main commonality was the “chakra shake-up” that we experienced together in module five. We chakra-danced, we chakra-posed, we chakra-meditated… heck, they didn’t even let us out for lunch! (A delicious home made whole foods lunch was provided- nice.)
Having studied the chakras in the past, I was open to the experience of the weekend, but unsure if there would be anything new for me. These days though, I am also happy to practice beginner’s mind and simply be the student. We had a wonderful practice focusing on twisting on Friday night that, surprisingly, left me feeling rather whittled down and frustrated with myself. But then I received some bathroom wisdom (poster on the back of the stall door)… “Have patience with all things, but first yourself…” and decided to forge on! Our main chakra immersion was on Saturday with the all day workshop. On Sunday, we revisited much of what we had done in the previous days, and by Sunday pm, I personally left exhausted.
My struggle in the last few weeks has been once again, between my inner and outer worlds and demystifying/clarifying my experience, trying to bring it in to the literal. For two weeks right after the module, I experienced wandering aches and pains throughout my upper and lower abdomen and some low level nausea… I seemed to have created a simmering chakra stew inside me. It is probably just fine to just let all the parts “get to know eachother”, but my head is telling me that I need to figure out what is going on! I found myself avoiding my personal practice, avoiding even opening my manual to give my home study attention. This resistance is a major battle because in the course of this program, I have come to highly value my personal practice. Even now, there aren’t really words to label the experiences as I am still so IN IT. So, a certain amount of friction has been created and now I ask my teachers for help. Before committing to this path of training, I admit, that I thought that I could learn yoga on my own, through reading and personal experience. While I still believe that one of the central benefits of the study of yoga is the ability to become more internally referencing, to be able to connect with true desires and take true clear action from this place, we do absolutely need a teacher. As students of teacher training, we need to be pushed and prodded and supported so that we can at some point provide this for others. This is what we are getting.
For now, this is where I sit. I am eagerly awaiting our next meeting so maybe my little brain will get some answers and the chakra stew will stop its gurgling for now. However, even if the monkey brain remains unsatisfied with an explanation, I am still enjoying the ride, enjoying the mystery….
Karen Stenseth, N.D., CYT